Wingdreamer Learns to Fly

Burning off the Fog

On a warm New Year’s Eve afternoon, I sensed a drawing to go to the mountain. I didn’t resist.

No parking spaces. I wasn’t surprised. It was a spring-like day. So, I drove almost to the top of the mountain, found a parking spot, saved for me. Hiking the short distance to the top, I felt a heaviness, yet an expectancy.

A breeze tousles my hair as I lean comfortably against a rock, on top of Kennesaw Mountain. This spot is always empty and available, every time I visit, without fail. I named it Marie’s Rock. A place revisited, especially during times when life’s weights grow heavy and threaten to be too much to handle. Many memories fill this place-- a mix of emotions.

I was there hoping for clarity, a lifting of the dense brain fog that hovers and threatens to totally obscure my road ahead.

Though the hoped for quiet wasn’t found, I knew I was drawn there for reasons beyond me. For a while, my camera’s eye captured naked branches gently swaying in the breeze, a distant horizon merging with low clouds, airplane tracks blending with wispy clouds in a late afternoon sky.

I feel naked, exposed, lonely. Sounds of children playing and conversations mix with thoughts, prayers and longings in my heart. Urgent words spoken in a Jamaican-like accent work their way toward me, carried by the breeze. “Jesus, Jesus use me!” I will go. I’ll go where you want me to. I will Jesus. I want to please you Jesus. Jesus.” At first distracted, then a part of me listens. A fervent cry. My heart hears his heart’s longings expressed. No doubt Jesus hears his cry. His heart.

Clarity opens her sleepy eyes as warm light begins to burn off the fog. Yes, my heart echos this man’s longings and desires. Jesus, use me! Lead me wherever You want. I’ll go. I’ll obey. I long to please You. A worship song I loved began to sing in my heart, “Where you go, I’ll go. What You say, I’ll say, God.” Nothing’s gonna hold me back.

As I hiked the short distance down to my car, I knew why I’d been drawn to the mountain. A smile began to take the place of my furrowed brow.