Day Fifteen - Wounded

Woundedness trickled down my face, wet... subsiding, then returning like waves, threatening to overwhelm me. It's as though the breath has been knocked right out of me...

I must forgive the one who lashed out at me...one who came from my womb. This is not a new wound. It has festered, under the surface for some time. I do not understand. Yet, I must forgive, again. Only Abba Father can do this in me, the forgiving. I choose to begin the process. Lord, I thank you that you know my frailness. Yet, You are strong.

I lay weary head to pillow, soft.

I lay weary heart on God's breast, warm, comforting, healing...

Now I lay me down to sleep

I give my wounded soul to You to keep.

Please be the peacemaker in this situation.

You are my only hope and consolation. 

I remember my song in the night and reflect [on it]. My spirit searches [for an answer]: Psalm 77:6

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)

Day Thirteen & Fourteen - Working Watching Waiting

Last night I was away from internet access so tonight I am blogging for two days.

A lot is going on in the earthly realm and especially behind the curtain in the spiritual realm. It is happening, whether we realize it or not. However, today I just seem more aware of how thin the "skin" of this world is.

There is a place in between 

worlds, between realms 

of "real" world, where I touch

dirt and I am dust,

and the world

beyond where I touch what is unseen,

yet it's more real...

this world...it's where I live

and breathe and though I

do not fully understand or fathom

the thinness of the skin 

between these worlds, these

realms, He does...for God exists

and dwells in both realms...

He lives within hearts of those

who've cried out from the depths

of their heart, because they

heard His voice, calling...

from realms beyond this earth,

whispering, wooing, wanting

His creation to awaken

fully to reasons for being 

reasons for seeing 

His plan unfolding in earth 

and in His people, so human

yet divine, because we are 

clay formed in His image

dust transformed into God-likeness

by Spirit's power, potential possibilities

reached through God's dream

before time awakened...

God lives beyond and above time, beyond

what we can imagine, or conceive 

or dream... He is...

yet, miraculously He chooses

to rub shoulders with flesh

and bone like us and walk barefoot

next to us on beaches and 

sidewalks beside skyscrapers tall

as we fall, skinning our knees

like children, hurt and sheep that stray

far from the shepherd, yet loved enough

to have legs broken and carried upon

His shoulders, until we heal, wounded

hearts joined to His because we know

His stripes He bore, on the cruel cross

brought freedom from sin, freedom from

this world, this realm we sometimes feel

bound to, yet truly aren't, 

for if we comprehend

the thinness of the skin

between this world of dust

and the world beyond

we must long for the realness

of His touch, resting in trust

that His dream from before time's beginning 

before He set the world to spinning

is good and well thought out

in the mind and heart of a loving God 

to draw us to Him and within Him 

we'll live, breathing His life in

and releasing it back out into the world

to those who hunger and thirst

and will dive headfirst 

into Him...

Marie

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Friday night my singles group went together to view the movie, Courageous. I must say the movie has a very powerful message to those who will listen and respond. I pray it will affect many and the response will be massive! 

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God spoke three words to me earlier today as I sat, quieted, sipping coffee... 

Working

Watching

Waiting 

He is working on my behalf.

He is watching to see how I will respond to Him. He is watching over me.

He is waiting on me to respond to Him during these challenging days. 

Flip side of that is...

I am to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.

I am to watch Him and focus totally on HIM.

I am to wait on Him and for Him.

My homework is to do a word study on these words in His Word.

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 My creative, often disorganized mind lost track of the list of A Thousand Gifts I am thankful for... what can I say?!.............

I'm thankful for: 

October's gift of chilly breezes

crunch of leaves underfoot 

blanket, soft as a lamb's ear, to warm me

today's peace is more abundant than yesterday's

a stronger knowing that God is at work on my behalf

friends who cause laughter to bubble up

son, who's willing to give of his resources to help me

another son and his wife's hospitality brought a smile

not feeling as lonesome today

Day Twelve - Hope Doesn't Disappoint

Prayer in Deep Waters

I’m barely keeping my head above water.

Can’t see over the waves to the other side.

Don’t know if I can keep this up much longer.

I’m sinking, I’m drowning, I’m nearly out of hope.

Salary cuts and now bills are piling up higher every day.

I’m losing my home, collections on the phone.

Need to do more than keep my fingers crossed.

I’ve gotta relax, fall back into YOU,

You’ve promise me, hope doesn’t disappoint.

No way in sight to make ends meet.

Heart’s weighed down, just scraping by.

I've been treading water and I'm beat.

I’ve gotta relax, fall back into You...

You promise me, hope doesn’t disappoint.

Lying in bed, thoughts swimming around in my head;

I'm running out of money, I'm not feeling gutsy

when I’m barely keeping my head above water,

I’ll lay my heart and my life on Your altar

and I’ll weep, I’ll pray and I’ll hope,

'cause You’ll meet me at the end of my rope...

I was barely keeping my head above water

when You walk across the waves and said,

“Why don’t you hop in my boat?

I’ve got hope, it’ll keep you afloat!”

When my head’s barely above water,

can’t see over the waves to the other side.

I have faith now to keep hoping

‘cause You lift me up and under Your wings I'll hide.

Marie Nease

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C.S. Lewis Quotes on Hoping For Something More

“Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise."

“At present we are on the outside… the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the pleasures we see. But all the pages of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so. Someday, God willing, we shall get “in”… We will put on glory… that greater glory of which Nature is only the first sketch."

We do not want to merely “see” beauty–though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words–to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it."

May I recommend you wander over to A Holy Experience?

Day Eleven - Hope

Day Ten - Being Single and the Nestea Plunge

I'm propped up, pillows soft, comfy in my bed, ready to write about day ten.
Hmmmm...what to say? Today was better than yesterday. The earth didn't move under my feet and nothing major was accomplished. (The earth not moving under my feet is actually fine with me... heard there have been an increase of earthquakes at the M5 level in the past few days...)


I cold called executive search firms to see if anyone has a need for my sourcing and research experience. I cold called brides to see if they still need to book a photographer for their wedding. ( shameless plug - www.wingdreamer.com )


I guess what stands out to me is that today, I worried less. A step in the right direction, right? I told a friend that I've been trying to picture myself doing the Nestea plunge and just falling back into the arms of Jesus.

  I found this photo from Google images, but didn't see anyone to give credit to.

A sense of peace about my singleness seems to be incrementally increasing every day. I celebrate this peace!

Being Single

Being single is an incredible mixture of feelings...

from being a happy free bird

one day,

to a lonely wolf, howling at the moon

the next.

Being single is sleeping under starlit sky

on a mountain top with friends,

oohing and aaahing at shooting stars.

It's the blessing of "Pizza and Prayer" on a Friday night,

experiencing God listening to us as we agree in prayer.

It's the sweetness of worshiping God

around a campfire, warming hands and hearts.

Being single is being the only one to bring home the bacon,

or not bring it home, during times of unemployement...

It's being able to sleep on the left side or the right

of my big king size bed

and not having to be woken by manly snoring,

but missing the pleasure of spooning and more...

Being single means missing being able to wake up

next to your love and share coffee and prayer

to start your day loving, hand-in-hand.

Being single is having the freedom to choose

to devote more of your time in companionship

with Jesus and pursuing passions and dreams.

It's longing to share your passions and dreams

with a like minded soul who just gets you

and who likes being with you, not without you.

Being single is giddy laughter and sometimes abundant tears

and wondering if you'll be alone all you're years.

It's growing special friendships

and sometimes wanting more.

It's going on dates that are distasters

and dates that feel like a dream

you never want to end.

Being single is bravely killing your own spiders

and not allowing fear to creep in at night,

when noises wake you from sound sleep.

It's keeping your chin up, when you'd rather have

your mate look you in the eye, lift your chin up

and kiss you and make your world spin...

It's having boundaries in dating relationships,

even when your flesh cries out for more!

It's learning to walk away,

and wait for God to write your love story...

© Copyright 2011 Marie Nease

Day Nine - Brave

Today I feel as though I fell and slipped down the slippery slope... I'm fighting discouragement today. But, I want to be brave! If I could cause my Father God to smile at me during this challenging time, it would make me smile too. 

In Joshua 1:9 God commands us to "Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." He commands me to be brave. 

Only in You Father can I possibly know how to be brave!

My legs are shaking, I'm weak in the knees.

I'm a beach about to be hit by a tidal wave!

In my weakness I cry out oh Father please

remind me Your grace is perfected when I'm not strong

so I will choose to celebrate, even in my weakness 

then your power can rest upon me, in victorious song

in the midst of looming challenges and stresses

I will picture my brave soul

conquering giants and the enemies fiery arrows

as I rest, knowing you're in control

of my life and even the sparrows.

 

Copyright © 2011 Marie Nease  All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

I will hope. I will hope in my future, because Father, you have amazing plans for me and a future You have thoughtfully worked out, just for me...plans to prosper me and not to harm me... if there is someone who happens to be reading this, He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you. He has plans for your future, if you will reach out to Jesus and cry out to Him. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁹But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and ^[a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may ^[b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

Day Eight - Rest

.

Rest... 

When I took this photo, I r-e-a-l-l-y needed to rest. I had just explored the Mariposa Grove of Giant Sequoias in Yosemite National Park; it was a very hot day in July. At first glance, it was as though the Adirondack chair motioned me over, inviting me to come rest. Did I resist? No. I responded. I rested. 

 

relaxation from exertion or labor ~ repose; sleep ~ any relief or 

refreshment, as from worry or something troublesome ~ calm;  

tranquility ~  cessation from motion ~ a pause for relaxation 

Dominical Beach ~ Costa Rica 

Rest...

The Greek word for rest used in the passage in Matthew 11:28 is

anapauw  //  anapauo   //  an-ap-ow'-o

It means: rest, refresh, take rest, give rest, take ease

1) to cause or permit one to cease from any movement or labor
in order to recover and collect his strength
2) to give rest, refresh, to give one's self rest, take rest
3) to keep quiet, of calm and patient expectation

Daily, we are invited by our Creator to rest. Though I can't imagine why since it is difficult for me to imagine God needing to rest, after He created the heavens and the earth, He rested on the seventh day. On the Sabbath, we are told to rest.


Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. {29} "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. {30} "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

^{I like the way the Message Bible says it...}

^28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." 

Yes! To learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I believe Jesus knew how to walk in unforced rhythms of grace as His sandals left footprints in the dust of earth. Jesus desires the same for us so we are able to rest. 

Psalm 94:12 and 13 talks about how blessed we are when God disciplines us and instructs us out of His Word, that He may give us power to keep ourselves calm in days of adversity. Or the Message Bible says it so beautifully: Providing a circle of quiet within the clamor of evil. 

 

The image that comes to mind here is the calm in the eye of a hurricane... 

 

Pause for a moment and just dwell on that thought...imagine flying through the stormy clouds in the outer bands of a hurricane... your plane being blown about, lightening striking all around you, very much in danger in the eerie storm. As you near the eye wall the turbulence is roller-coaster crazy! Then, amazingly, you fly into this incredible clear blue calm, in the midst of the hurricane. Blue sky above and sparkling sea below. Aah...This is a picture of peace, a circle of quiet, that our Father God longs for us to experience in the midst of the clamor of our often stress filled lives of unemployment, short sales and foreclosures, cancer, disease and death. 

 

We need physical rest, however soul rest or spiritual rest is far more important for our overall health and spiritual well being. May we crave that rest as searchingly as Jesus did when he intentionally wandered away from the crowds and his disciples to seek out a place of rest, to rest and enjoy His Father's company. Jesus longed for fellowship and to hear His Daddy's words of love and direction.

Isaiah 32:18 God says His people will dwell in peaceable habitations, in safe dwellings and in quiet resting places. He desires this for us! We should pursue it with our whole being!

As I've been hanging on for the roller-coaster ride of my life and making an effort to keep my hands up for the ride, I need to and long to press in harder toward Jesus. As the money in the "piggy bank" has gotten lower in the jar, My soul, must find it's rest in God; my hope only comes from Him. I am experiencing more peace now than I was a week ago. Progress is being made. God is perfecting me, as I behold Him.

Give your stress wings and let it fly away.  ~Terri Guillemets