2011 brought challenges into my world that were bigger than me! Much bigger. However, the challenges were not too big for my Father God to handle.
Recently, life has taken on a different rhythm. Slow but steady... I'm thankful for a job that brings in a more substantial income for me. I'm adjusting, stretching and growing, daily. Debt is being reduced. I was able to purchase a calendar for Christmas for each family, in my immediate family. I created the calendar through Lulu. It's beautiful and a work of heart that is a blessing to share. http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Wingdreamer
Raindrops sparkling on my window
I dislike winter. It's dark sooner, often cold and dreary and I find myself cocooning, rather than getting out into the world around me. One night this past week, it had been raining, but the sun shone through the clouds in the morning, sparkling and glistening, a gift. I smiled, grabbing my camera, to capture the moment.
Ann VosKamp repeatedly blesses me by helping me remember to be in the moment and count the blessings every moment brings. I started 2011 reading Ann's book, "One Thousand Gifts." Ann reminds us that we have moments, microscopic moments, fleeting moments are all we have. Holy moments... Ann says, "You've got to find a way to stay fully awake! She dares us to live fully, right where we are. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhOUaszMGvQ&feature=player_embedded#!
Through Jesus we are able to live fully,
being joyful right where we are.
In March, I took a contract recruiting job that seemed like my ticket out of a frustrating and stressful inside sales job, however, in a very short period of time, it ended just as I arrived home after an amazing vacation in early May to see one of my sons who lives in Costa Rica.
Seeing this time as an opportunity to grow my photography business, I switched into high gear and began to advertise my Wingdreamer Photography. I did weddings, lifestyle portraits, and reached out for photo shoots where ever I could find them.
Something didn't feel quite right, yet I kept trying, praying, crying out and putting one foot in front of the other. Long story short, I almost totally ran out of money, lost my home, (except the people who bought my home, are renting it back to me so I'm still here!!) I had $1.70 left in my checking account when my first paycheck with my new company was deposited. I am so very aware of God's presence, His provision, but most of all His love, hovering nearby.
I didn't always walk through this challenging time standing strong and solid. I fell down. I skinned my knees. I whined and sometimes I cried. However, Jesus kept working on me. It's His job to perfect us. He's good at it. He promises to complete the work He started in us.
I'm so thankful that I can also celebrate my singleness at the end of this year. Back at the end of September, I sensed the Lord calling me into His "Ark" for a time away. My world was being flooded and He lovingly wooed me into His ark to work on my heart and change me. Though I hadn't realized it, my longing for a husband, my neediness in that area, was at the level of idolatry. I desired a husband more than I desired to know Jesus. It was an obsession, though I didn't see it.
During the 44 days and nights in the "Ark" of God's presence, much was accomplished in my heart. (I spent 44 days and nights, rather than 40, because it bumped up against my 11th "anniversary" of being single again.) A contentedness came that stilled my heart. A peace permeated me through and through. I'm happy in my singleness like I've never experienced in the 11 years I've been single again.
Woooo hoooo!
So, I end 2011 and dance into 2012 a free woman, with a smile that lights up my face, a good job, bills paid, a front porch to sit on, though I no longer have the responsibility of my home, and you know what, I danced a bit and spun around in circles at some of the Christmas parties I attended...(I really can't dance very well, you know,
two left feet...)
Today, a friend joined me at a nearby park and we walked about 5 miles. It was a gorgeous December day here in Georgia. We've been told that the cold winter air is on it's way, but this afternoon brought sunshine sparkling on the lake as we walked.
Rushing home after the walk with my friend, I grabbed my camera and headed back out to a spot I've been wanting to go to experience a sunset, to attempt to capture a sunset with my camera's eye. I wasn't disappointed. Thank you Jesus!
As 2011 soon fades away and 2012 unfolds, fresh and new, fragrant as a flower, I quietly anticipate and through trust that has grown stronger, I look forward to what our Father God has in store. My times are in His hands.
My path will lead me home.
